What's Wrong With... The Twin Dilemma

Just where does one start? One of those stories where it might be quicker to say what went right with it, as there really wouldn't be very much.

I'll start with one big thing that went wrong - and that was screening this story immediately after The Caves of Androzani.

Whilst Troughton had been introduced part way into Season 4, all subsequent Doctors had their debut proper at the beginning of a season.

JNT's reasoning for having Colin Baker star in the final story of the season was simple - to allow the audience to go into the 9 month break already familiar with the new guy, rather than be left wondering for all that time what he might be like.

That's fine if it's someone we're looking forward to seeing again. I don't think we get that feeling at the conclusion of this story. Indeed, the Doctor's "...whether you like it - or not" comes across as a threat to the audience, rather than the reassurance it was intended to be.

Let's breakdown where we think things went wrong...

First things first, a little more on what it is following. Written by Robert Holmes, and delivered in a dynamic, atmospheric manner, with excellent performances all round, Caves was always going to be hard act to follow, and there's no way JNT could have known that when originally planning his season (though I'm sure Eric Saward would have alerted him to the dangers).

The Twin Dilemma has some very poor performances, tacky sets and costumes, little menace - except from the person who's supposed to be the hero - and zero atmosphere or dynamism.

It's also the last story of the season and everyone knows that's when the money has run out, and you're never going to have terribly good production values.

Secondly, the new Doctor's outfit. It was a brave move to have a darker and more alien Doctor - but the effect is totally ruined by putting him in a clown costume. Hartnell and Troughton had outfits which somehow came across as neutral. Their appearance is very rarely commented upon - a bit like the convention that everyone in the Universe speaks BBC English. Pertwee had a uniform style but went through a whole line of different coloured velvet jackets, and Tom Baker went through a number of outfit changes, whilst managing to maintain a consistent overall look thanks to the hat and scarf.

The rot starts with Davison and JNT's insistence on turning outfits into uniforms. This really annoys when you have things like the Doctor and his companions attending a 1920's funeral in what would look like fancy dress to the Cranleighs and their friends. Then there's Mark Strickson being asked to change his hair colour because people might mistake him for Davison - despite the fact that one permanently wears a beige outfit, and the other a dark schoolboy uniform (and why would someone who loathed Brendon School continue to wear his school uniform for months after he no longer had to?).

Colin Baker's clown suit is so overbearing that it stretches credulity that no-one questions it.

How is the audience supposed to take this character seriously? Look like a clown, get treated like a clown.

Before we move on from costume disasters, let's not forget Hugo's garish tinfoil tunic. He has an entire wardrobe to pick from, and goes for this monstrosity.

Thirdly, the Doctor's personality and its impact on Peri. It's one thing for this to be a darker and more dangerous Doctor in character, but violence towards anyone, let alone the companion, and overt acts of cowardice simply aren't traits we want from the Doctor. What was it that Terrance Dicks used to say of the Doctor? "Never cruel nor cowardly...".

I've always said that I thought the Capaldi Doctor was the Sixth Doctor but done properly. He isn't cowardly, though he could be cuttingly cruel to people - usually only verbally - and this was explained by his lack of empathy (and the fact that he was a grumpy Scotsman, played by a grumpy Scotsman, and created by a grumpy Scotsman).

Something we'll come back to again for the next few stories: you really have to wonder why Peri isn't asking to be taken straight home after Part One.

Things aren't helped by Baker's performance. Personally, I've never rated him as a screen actor. He's more of a theatrical performer, where you have to project and play to the back of the gallery. He lacks subtlety at this stage of his career in my opinion. I'm not a Big Finish listener, but I believe he gives much more nuanced performances, presumably because of the recording studio environment.

Next, if you're going to build a story around a pair of distinctive characters then it's best to get a couple of good actors to play them. JNT was offered a number of female twin actors, who were experienced in TV work, but he insisted that the twins be male - despite there being a dearth of talented male twins in the business at that time. The Conrad brothers were the sons of Les Conrad, who was a frequent extra on Doctor Who - including an appearance in Caves. Their inexperience wasn't helped by an obvious speech impediment. This is one of those many occasions when JNT insisted on something and wouldn't back down when told it wouldn't work.

Not so much a dreadful performance as poor dialogue comes from Helen Blatch as space police commander Fabian. Referring to her latest orders, her "And may my bones rot for following them..." is rightfully derided.

The usually reliable Dennis Chinnery struggles with what he's been given to say, and how he's supposed to deliver it, as well.

Other stuff:

Escaping the Titan base, what possible difference could it make if the Doctor and Peri arrive in the TARDIS a few seconds apart?

Why do the Time Lords tolerate one of their number, no matter how venerable, ruling a relatively primitive planet? Surely this is intervention in other race's affairs on a grand scale?

There's absolutely no reason whatsoever for Azmael to be using the Prof Edgeworth alias.

A little bit of silver powder on the floor is automatically taken to be a sign of teleportation, and that means aliens. How? Are aliens popping down to Earth, leaving powdery residue behind, so often that you can tell at a glance?

If the twins' abilities are as awesome as their dad claims, why are they ever left unsupervised? He goes out for dinner and leaves them home alone, just after he's gone on about how their mathematical abilities could crack the universe in two.

Azmael hasn't spotted what Mestor's real plan is, but surely a basic computer model would have shown him exactly what would happen if they moved the outer planets. Newton could have worked it out in an afternoon.

Why go to the extremes of blowing up planets to spread his eggs when Mestor has access to spaceships?

Why exploit a couple of brainy brats when you already have a captive Time Lord mind to plunder?

Philip Hinchcliffe once remarked that he couldn't see the Kraals as possibly being a technologically advanced species, as the costume just didn't fit this idea. The Gastropods just don't convince as a universal threat, even if they do have a smarter than normal boss (just like the Tractators, who we only saw a few stories ago).

Mestor sometimes can get into people's heads and know what they are thinking - and other times he can't.

Going back to Hugo's horrible jacket (sorry, but we must), of all the hundreds of costumes available to him in the TARDIS wardrobe, he just happens to pick the one in which the Doctor hid the power pack of his gun.

If Azmael's rule over Jaconda was dubious to say the least, why does the Doctor happily allow a humble gun-toting Earth police lieutenant he hardly knows to stay and take over the planet? It's actually all very racist. Funny looking aliens can't be trusted to govern their own affairs and need human types to rule them?

Any why, ever since, has no-one been able to spell Jaconda / Joconda the same way twice...?