Story 233 - The Bells of Saint John

In which the Doctor continues to isolate himself from the world, but this time at a remote monastery in 13th Century Cumbria. Here he has been dwelling on the mystery of Clara - the woman whom he has met and seen die twice, at different points in history. One day, the monks come to see him and notify him that the "Bells of St John" are ringing. This is the TARDIS' door mounted telephone - the monks having seen the St John Ambulance badge on the door beside it. The Doctor is surprised, as no-one should have that number. He answers and finds himself talking to a young woman in 2013, who was given this number by a woman in a computer shop. She wants to know how to get on to the Wi-Fi.

Intrigued, the Doctor pilots the TARDIS to her location - a suburban house in North London. He discovers that the young woman is none other than Clara Oswald, who is a live-in au pair for a couple of children - Angie and Artie. She shows no signs of recognising him. She has found a way onto the Wi-Fi via a strange symbol on her computer. The children are at a school, so she is surprised to see a girl appear in the house. What is more bizarre is that she is identical to the girl on the cover of the book which she has borrowed from Angie. The girl's head revolves, revealing that she is robotic in nature.

Across London, in a large office, Miss Kizlet and her team have been harvesting people via the internet. All across the globe, people have vanished after logging onto the Wi-Fi using the symbol Clara used - their minds downloaded to the cloud. The Doctor manages to access the house and stops Clara suffering the same fate, breaking the connection before she can be downloaded.

The Doctor camps outside the house as he investigates the robot, which he identifies as a mobile server.

At her office, Miss Kizlet endeavours to trace the Doctor, using other mobile servers (which the Doctor calls Spoonheads due to the shape of their heads). He and Clara see large areas of the city plunged into darkness, then notice an airliner heading straight for them on a collision course. 

The Doctor takes Clara into the TARDIS and they travel to the aircraft, where all the passengers and crew are comatose. Miss Kizlet has an app on her tablet which can affect how people think and behave. The Doctor manages to steer the airliner off its collision course, and Miss Kizlet wakes everyone up again - needing to find an alternative plan to foil the Doctor and to trap Clara. The client she works for is particularly keen to have her in the cloud they have created.

When the TARDIS materialises, Clara is surprised to find that it is no longer night but broad daylight, and they are on the South Bank by the Thames. The Doctor emerges from the ship on a motorbike, and he and Clara head for the City to trace their attackers base of operations.

At a rooftop restaurant, Clara is attacked by a Spoonhead which has been made to resemble the Doctor, after discovering that Miss Kizlet is based at the Shard, the city's latest landmark, at London Bridge.

Clara is downloaded. The Doctor takes to his motorbike and goes to the Shard - driving the machine up its glass walls to Miss Kizlet's office.

Miss Kizlet thinks she can overpower him, but is shocked to discover that he has reprogrammed the Spoonhead copy of himself and sent it to the Shard. He is still back at the restaurant. He has Miss Kizlet uploaded to the cloud. She is forced to order her staff to free all the minds from the cloud. 

She contacts her client to explain that they have failed, but he has already been sated. He is the Great Intelligence, still using the likeness of Dr Simeon. He elects to abandon the project, and has her reset everyone who has been affected by her app, as UNIT troops storm the offices. They find Miss Kizlet alone in her office, with the mind of a child - the age she was when first taken over by the Intelligence.

None of her staff know how they got there either, her deputy - Mahler - claiming the last thing he remembers was coming to fix something.

Back at her house, the Doctor offers Clara the chance to travel with him, but she defers the decision to another day. The Doctor decides to persevere, so that he can find out who this impossible girl really is...

The Bells of Saint John was written by Steven Moffat, and was first broadcast on 30th March, 2013.

It marked the beginning of the second half of Series 7, and is the first story to feature the version of Clara who will actually be the Doctor's new companion, other than the brief scene at the end of the 2012 Christmas Special. Like the Victorian version we saw in that, Clara looks after children.

This story also follows The Snowmen in that it once again has the Great Intelligence as the main villain, though we only find this out at the conclusion of the story. It is once more portrayed by Richard E Grant.

The Intelligence has another new mobile weapon, following the Yeti and the Snowmen. These are the Spoonheads - disguised robotic computer servers with concave craniums, hence the name.

Back in the early 1970's Robert Holmes had sought to make everyday objects frightening for the younger viewers - to the point that producer Barry Letts got into trouble with police and politicians over it. Moffat has taken on the mantle of the new Robert Holmes - also seeking to make the everyday scary, when he is not plundering traditional childhood fears for his stories.

In this instance he has used Wi-Fi as the weapon which is being used against the human race. When Victor Pemberton adapted his radio series The Slide to become Fury From The Deep, he changed the intelligent mud into North Sea gas - on the basis that here was a medium for the monsters to use which was increasingly present in everybody's home. When this story was written, people were increasingly turning away from the ethernet broadband connection to Wi-Fi, and were uploading their photos, music and videos to cloud hosting services.

It has been pointed out that there are certain similarities between this story and The Idiot's Lantern, in that a disembodied entity wants to consume people who have been uploaded to some recently introduced popular technology, new to people's homes.

The episode had a fairly slight prequel. The Doctor is looking for Clara and ends up at a children's playground. Sitting on a swing he gets chatting to a girl - unaware that this is the young Clara.

Other than Richard E Grant's brief reappearance, the only guest artist worth mentioning is Celia Imrie, who portrays Miss Kizlet. Owing to the story having to properly introduce Clara, it is practically a three-hander. One of Imrie's first big TV roles was in the Doctor Who-ish The Nightmare Man, written by Robert Holmes and directed by Douglas Camfield. It could almost be a Doctor-free UNIT story. Since then she has gone on to many film and TV roles - from Scottish sitcom Still Game to Star Wars: The Phantom Menace. She is particularly well known for her regular appearances opposite the late Victoria Wood. Kizlet's assistant, Mahler, is played by Robert Whitelock.

This episode also introduces the two children Clara looks after - Artie and Angie. He is played by Kassius Carey Johnson, and she by Eve De Leon Allen. They'll return later in the series.

Overall, it is a fairly good start to the second half of the season, reminiscent of Russell T Davies' present day companion introduction stories. Whilst they tended to be stand alone tales, this one is part of a much bigger story arc - what with this being the first story of the 50th Anniversary year and all. (We will have a longer wait to find out who the woman in the shop was, who gave Clara the Doctor's number). There is some nice topical humour in the mix (such as the London riots being caused by Kizlet's app, and people mistaking the real Police Box at Earls Court for the TARDIS).

Things you might like to know:

• The TARDIS has a garage somewhere in its depths. We'd previously seen the Tenth Doctor ride a Lambretta out of the ship (in The Idiot's Lantern) although he left that behind in the London of 1953. The bike the Doctor has here is fitted with anti-grav, and he tells Kizlet that he participated in the Anti-Grav Olympics of 2074.
• The bow-tie which the Doctor puts on after changing out of his monk's habit is one that was worn by Patrick Troughton.
• The Doctor wears a new costume - with a longer purple jacket. We see him discard his old costume in favour of this one - the last time we'll see it until he rejuvenates prior to regenerating.
• The Wi-Fi password for the Maitland family is RYCBAR123 - Run You Clever Boy And Remember. This was the phrase spoken by both the previous versions of Clara the Doctor had encountered, and was what made him realise that they might be the same person (as he never actually saw the Clara from the Dalek Asylum). The 123 refers to this being the third iteration of Clara.
• Fans thought that Clara omitting her height between ages 16 - 23, recorded in her mother's book, was going to be significant. It wasn't.
• The pressed leaf held between the pages of the book, which we'll see more of next time, was originally going to be a sheet of passport photographs. It's a travel book, and Clara was about to go on a round the world trip when Mrs Maitland died. She cancelled her trip to help look after the children.
• The book whose cover seems to come to life is Summer Falls, by Amelia Williams (AKA Amy Pond).
• For the remainder of Series 7 the opening logo remains constant, and is no longer personalised for each story.
• The Doctor mentions a dislike for monks. This might be a reference to his recent encounters with the Headless Monks, or going further back to his Time Lord foe the Meddling Monk.
• The opening scene of the story is of a man named Nabile, who has been trapped in the cloud. This was a reshoot using another actor to the one who originally shot the scene. That was Fady Elsayed, who will feature soon as a regular on the Doctor Who spin-off Class.

The Monster Vault

Lately, Doctor Who non-fiction books (at least the BBC's own ones) have tended to be aimed at the more junior end of the age spectrum. They also, at times, seem to forget that the series began earlier than 2005.

Now comes The Monster Vault, edited by Paul Lang, which has a much wider appeal. 

The book is essentially an A to Z of monsters, going from him:

To them:

- all of which have appeared throughout the entire history of the programme, from the first Dalek story to the most recent Cyberman one.

Every entry has a full page colour image accompanying it, which I had thought were going to be original art works but prove to be photographic in origin, although enhanced in terms of colour and background. (If they are paintings, they're remarkably good ones). For most entries, this image is accompanied by a single page of text, with some photographs from the relevant story / stories.

Many of the entries, however, are for monsters which have appeared in multiple stories, so their page count increases accordingly.

The emphasis is, as the title says, on monsters although this seems to include robots and androids as well. Humanoid aliens and individual humanoid villains are (mostly) absent, so we get an entry on the Quarks, but none for the Dominators, for instance. Where there is a link between monsters, robots or aliens, this is reflected in the text. What constitutes a monster is a bit arbitrary.

Some monsters aren't quite important enough to get an entry by themselves and so are grouped together in a sort of box-out, such as with various creatures from Skaro other than the Daleks (Magnedons, Handmines, Varga Plants etc.).

Oddly, one of these groupings is for Androzani creatures, and includes the Wooden King and Queen from The Doctor, the Widow and the Wardrobe. Whilst the Foresters came from Androzani Major, there was no mention on screen that the tree entities came from there as well.

There are some interesting extrapolations as well - other facts that were never mentioned on screen. Best example is that the Raston Warrior Robot derives its name from 'Rassilon's Automaton', and these killing machines were built specifically for the Death Zone on Gallifrey.

One minor gripe is that a little too much emphasis is placed on the most recent incarnations of the more famous monsters. The Cybermasters and Ashad get more prominence than the average Cybermen, and the DIY reconnaissance Dalek from Resolution gets more prominence than the ordinary ones which feature series in, series out. I suppose they want to push these newer models due to the current production team, but it is a little insulting to see the original Ray Cusick Dalek relegated to one tiny black and white photo, when the dustbin version gets the full page colour image. Likewise with the Cybermen - those of the classic era get barely get a mention and the greatest Cyberman design (the early Troughton one) gets only a small single image also.

The last section of the book is a selection of images, with captions only, relating to the design and making of the monster costumes / props, and the classic era is well represented.

We've come a long way since the Target Doctor Who Monster Book, which is this volume's ancient ancestor. Certainly worth buying for newcomers, as an introduction to the Doctor's monster foes since 1963, but equally worth a purchase as a nicely illustrated coffee table type book for those of us who are already fans and like to focus on just the TV series itself.

I is for... Inquisitor

 

The Inquisitor was a senior Time Lord judge who was tasked with overseeing a judicial inquiry into the recent conduct of the Doctor. He was removed from time and brought to the tribunal, which was to take place on a giant space station, by the combined mental powers of the Time Lord jury. The Doctor elected to conduct his own defence, whilst the High Council employed the Valeyard as prosecutor. The Inquisitor found the two men constantly sparring with one another and disrupting court proceedings, and often had to step in and remind them of the seriousness of the affair - especially once the inquiry turned into a full blown trial.

Even after the shock reveal that the Valeyard was a future incarnation of the Doctor, employed by a corrupt High Council to stop the Doctor meddling in their crimes, the Inquisitor maintained that the trial should proceed. It transpired that she and the jury members were also marked for assassination by the High Council. After the Valeyard had apparently been destroyed, and the High Council deposed, the Inquisitor suggested that the Doctor resume his old role as Lord President, but he recommended she take on the role herself. Tricked into thinking his companion Peri had been killed, the Inquisitor was able to inform the Doctor that she had survived, and was now living with King Yrcanos.

Played by: Lynda Bellingham. Appearances: Trial of a Time Lord (1986).

• Unnamed on screen, the Inquisitor has been given a name in spin-off media - Darkel. She has appeared in numerous books and audio adventures.
• Despite a lengthy career on film, stage and TV in the UK, Bellingham was best known for her role as the mum in a long running series of commercials for Oxo stock cubes (she made 42 of them between 1983 and 1999). Towards the end of her life (she died in 2014), she was also well known as a presenter on the day time chat show Loose Women.
• Prior to this story she had been considered for another Time Lord role - that of Thalia in Arc of Infinity.

I is for... Ingram, Ruth

 

Dr Ruth Ingram was the more senior of the two assistants to Professor Thascalos at the Newton Institute near Cambridge. She worked with Stuart Hyde on the professor's TOMTIT machine - Transmission Of Matter Through Interstitial Time. Strongly feminist in her views, she was often incensed by her employer's somewhat patronising comments. She coerced Stuart into conducting an experiment with TOMTIT without the professor's permission - reasoning that they had done as much work on it as he had. Thascalos was, however, really the Master - working on a scheme to take control over a powerful Chronovore named Kronos, who was imprisoned in ancient Atlantis. After the Master had frozen the Brigadier and his men in time, Ruth joined forces with Stuart and Sergeant Benton to try to undo the effects of the machine, but their attempts only caused Benton to revert to babyhood. On is return from Atlantis, the Doctor was assisted by Ruth in putting time back on track.

Played by: Wanda Moore. Appearances: The Time Monster (1972).

I is for... Ilin

 

Ilin was the wealthy backer of the infamous Rally of the Twelve Galaxies. This race was extremely hazardous, and by the time it had reached the planet Desolation, the final stage, there were only two competitors left - Angstrom and Epzo. They had just rescued the Doctor and her companions after they had become suspended in space whilst attempting to reach the Doctor's missing TARDIS.

Ilin was found in a luxurious tent on the planet, but he and his surroundings proved to be just a hologram. He gave them their final set of instructions to reach the end-point - the "Ghost Monument". This turned out to be the TARDIS, which was materialising and dematerialising randomly at a site elsewhere on the planet.

As founder of the race, Ilin was not interested in the fate of the Doctor and her friends. Once the goal was achieved, Ilin appeared by hologram once more. Angstrom and Epzo had been encouraged by the Doctor to work together rather than compete, and at first Ilin refused to allow joint winners of the rally. He eventually relented, but failed to transport the Doctor and her companions when he took Angstrom and Epzo off the planet. Fortunately, the Doctor was able to retrieve her TARDIS.

Played by: Art Malik. Appearances: The Ghost Monument (2018).

• Born Athar ul-Haque Malik in Pakistan, he first came to fame in the 1984 Granada TV adaptation of The Jewel in the Crown. Big screen appearances include playing the villain opposite Arnold Schwarzenegger in True Lies, and as Kamran Shah, the Oxford-educated Mujahideen ally of Timothy Dalton's James Bond in The Living Daylights.

I is for... Ikona

 

A member of the Lakertyan race, Ikona was a rebel amongst his people as he refused to submit to the Rani when she conquered their world, aided by her Tetrap allies. Ikona was in love with Sarn, daughter of the Lakertyan leader Beyus, who worked for the Rani at her laboratory headquarters. He witnessed Sarn's death when she ran away from the laboratory and fell into one of the Rani's lethal traps. Ikona found the Doctor's companion Mel and decided to take her hostage, believing her to be another ally of the Rani. Mel was able to convince him that she was not an enemy when she saved him from one of the traps, and he later returned the favour when she was caught in one of them. Ikona then joined forces with the Doctor against the Rani and the Tetraps. After they had been defeated, the Doctor gave him an antidote to the poisonous insects which the Rani had left behind. He was now the leader, following Beyus' death. He poured it away - determined that the Lakertyans had to solve their own problems from now on.

Played by: Mark Greenstreet. Appearances: Time and the Rani (1987).

• Greenstreet first came to fame in the 1985 BBC crime drama Brat Farrar. In 1986 he auditioned for the role of James Bond after Roger Moore had stepped down, losing out to Timothy Dalton.
• He is the great-nephew of Hollywood star Sidney Greenstreet (Casablanca, The Maltese Falcon).

I is for... Idris

 

Idris was a young woman who lived on the planetoid known as House, which existed in a bubble universe. House was really a hostile gaseous entity which fed on TARDISes, which it lured to its world. In order to consume the TARDIS energy House had to first remove its matrix - the sentient part of it which could attune itself telepathically with its operator. This was downloaded into an organic being, who would soon burn up and die. When House captured the Doctor's TARDIS, House transferred its matrix into Idris. Her own personality blotted out, she effectively became the TARDIS, and for the first time the Doctor was able to communicate with his ship as though it were another person. She revealed that rather than he stealing her, she had stolen him - wanting to explore the universe as much as he did. When he complained about the ship never going where it was supposed to go, she explained that it went where he needed to go. She was unhappy that he always ignored the "Pull to Open" sign on the doors, always pushing them open instead. Idris helped the Doctor put together a makeshift TARDIS from the remains left on the planetoid after House departed in the Doctor's ship with Amy and Rory trapped on board. Idris was able to make a telepathic link with Rory to guide them to one of the old console rooms, as she had saved them all. Soon after the makeshift TARDIS materialised within the Doctor's ship, Idris began to die. However, the matrix was now back in its home and was able to re-establish itself there, destroying House. Just before she died, Idris was able to give the Doctor a clue which would lead to River Song's true identity.

Played by: Suranne Jones. Appearances: The Doctor's Wife (2011).

• Jones had earlier appeared as the living Mona Lisa portrait in the Sarah Jane Adventures story Mona Lisa's Revenge. She first came to prominence as a regular on Coronation Street.
• The "Pull to Open" on the TARDIS door actually refers to the telephone cabinet, not the main doors.