Doctor Who Poster Magazine (1975)

One of the most popular items bought at the Doctor Who Exhibitions at Blackpool (where I bought mine) and Longleat, from May 1975 onwards, would have been a glossy poster magazine. It was produced by Legend Publishing and cost 25p.

A rather crudely drawn artwork cover featured a dinosaur, Draconian, Cyberman, Axon Monster and Giant Maggot, against a generic outer space backdrop. Tom Baker stared out from the top left corner, in a publicity shot from Robot. The Cyberman had been copied from the cover of the Radio Times 10th Anniversary Special.

None of the creatures on the cover had featured in any of Tom's stories, however, and within the situation was only marginally different.

The four incarnations of the Time Lord were introduced on one page - with another Tom photo from that Robot shoot, whilst the first three Doctors were covered by a BBC image of the three actors taken together at the time of The Three Doctors filming.

Other pages contained some B&W images. Another Robot publicity shot, of Tom and 'Bessie' accompanied a short message from the actor. Beneath was a photo of the First Doctor from The Celestial Toymaker, with the title character and clowns Joey and Clara.

Of the next two pages of B&W images of monsters, only one came from a Tom Baker story - Sarah with the K1 Robot. The other images were of a Yeti (The Web of Fear), a Silurian, Sea Devils, Aggedor and Alpha Centauri (Monster of Peladon version).

There were a couple of full page colour portraits which did come from Season 12, depicting Field-Major Styre's superior with his distinctive spiked collar from The Sontaran Experiment; and the Vogan leader Vorus from Revenge of the Cybermen.

The publishers hadn't done their homework properly, and gave him the title "Vogan - Leader of the Guardians". This was a shot from rehearsals, in which David Collings isn't wearing his full make-up - the moustache and beard have yet to be applied.

Also from Revenge of the Cybermen was a large blue-tinted image of the titular aliens in the caverns of Voga.

When you consider that there were only 9 feature pages to this publication, with the other 11 taken up by the cover and the posters, a complete page was pretty much wasted with two large adverts. One was for a Dalek T-shirt, and the other was for a new horror poster magazine from the same publishers. (This was devoted to Dracula, and included a comic strip version of the recent TV movie version of Bram Stoker's story starring Jack Palance as the Count).

Of the posters themselves there were two of the Fourth Doctor - one full length and the other a head and shoulders shot (taken during the making of Revenge of the Cybermen).

Between was a group of four B&W images from Genesis of the Daleks, surrounding another Robot portrait shot of Tom Baker.

Interestingly, there were no images of Daleks themselves in the magazine, even on the artwork cover - presumably because they cost more to reproduce thanks to Terry Nation and his agent.

The same circular photo made for another full page picture - this time a piece of monochrome artwork based upon it, dubbed the "Portrait Gallery" - though comprising only this single image. 

I remember buying two copies of this magazine, as the first one I had cut up for its photographs. I kept a Doctor Who scrapbook then - the primitive ancestor to this blog you could say...

Next time - the superior full colour 1976 poster magazine.

M is for... Marn

Marn was the assistant to Gatherer Hade of Megropolis One on the planet Pluto. Hade was primarily concerned with collecting taxes from the oppressed human population on behalf of The Company.

When the Doctor was coerced into trying to defraud a bank with a forged credit card, he was captured and sent to a correction centre. Hade suspected there was more to him than simple robbery and told Marn of this. She went to the centre and freed him, taking him to see her superior. Once released, they planned to track him and see who his co-conspirators were, as Hade thought he might be in the city to foment rebellion.

When a revolt did take place, and Hade was thrown from the roof by the disgruntled citizens, Marn quickly changed sides and joined the rebellion.

Played by: Jonina Scott. Appearances: The Sun Makers (1977).

• Marn was to have been a male character, but director Pennant Roberts had a habit of altering roles from male to female for greater diversity.
• Scott, who died in 2018, was married to actor David Ashton who appeared in Timelash as council member Kendron - another story directed by Roberts.

M is for... Mark

Mark was a member of a group known simply as The People. In his earlier life he had been athlete John Crichton, who had won gold in the long jump at the Olympic Games.

Sarah Jane Smith recalled him when she found herself trapped on a spaceship which was on route to another planet. Mark explained that this was part of a larger fleet, and they were abandoning the polluted Earth for a new home.

Sarah knew that this could not be true. She had been injured and the wound was still fresh - despite Mark and the others claiming she had been in suspended animation for months. It transpired that they were in a mock-up spacecraft, built beneath the streets of London. The men in charge intended to roll back time on Earth to a pre-industrial era - and this would be the new world they would inherit.

Sarah was able to convince Mark of the truth, and he in turn convinced some of the others, including one of their leaders, Adam. They left the mock-up and challenged those who had tricked them.

Played by: Terence Wilton. Appearances: Invasion of the Dinosaurs (1974).

• Sarah claims Mark's world record jump was 2.6362 metres. Even today, the long jump is not measured to that many decimal places - and why would she remember such a trivial fact?

M is for... Marius

Professor Marius was an expert in alien pathological endomorphisms, and was based at the Bi-Al Foundation. This medical complex was built into hollowed-out asteroid K4067.

Around the year 5000 AD, the solar system was experiencing a fresh wave of exploration by people from Earth, and the Foundation existed to serve these pioneers. A dog-lover, Marius had been forbidden from bringing his own dog to the Foundation due to weight penalties on the shuttle services. Instead, he designed for himself a dog-like form for his mobile personal computer - dubbing it "K-9".

Marius was placed in charge of the Doctor's case, after he had become infected by the alien Nucleus of the Swarm - an aggressive virus which sought to dominate both the micro- and macro-worlds.

When the complex came under attack by more infected men, Marius used K-9 to hold them at bay long enough for him to clone the Doctor and Leela, miniaturise them, and inject them into the Doctor's body to fight the Nucleus at source.

Marius was himself infected, and the Doctor had him stunned by K-9 before curing him. The Doctor and Leela borrowed the robot dog to help destroy the Nucleus and its hatchery on Titan.

When the Professor announced that he would be returning to Earth shortly, and was unable to take K-9 with him, Leela asked the Doctor if they could take it with them in the TARDIS. It made up his mind for him.

Played by: Frederick Jaeger. Appearances: The Invisible Enemy (1977).

• Third and final appearance by Jaeger in the series - having earlier portrayed Jano in The Savages, and Sorenson in Planet of Evil. He guest-starred opposite Ewen Solon in both of these stories.
• A friend of writers Bob Baker & Dave Martin, they had named Professor Jaeger in The Mutants after him, hoping that he would have been cast in the role.

M is for... Maren

Maren was the ancient leader of the Sisterhood of Karn. This group worshipped the Sacred Flame, which rose up through a fissure from deep underground in their cavern temple. It heated the surrounding rock, producing a strange liquid with remarkable powers. Known as the Elixir of Life, it could prolong a person's lifespan indefinitely, and also had great healing powers.

Maren was an old woman when she first began to take the Elixir as a member of the Sisterhood.

The planet Karn lay in the same region of space as the Time Lord world of Gallifrey. The Sisterhood had once been close allies of the Time Lords, allowing them use of the Elixir to assist with regeneration problems. 

Then, the power-mad President of the High Council of Time Lords - Morbius - led an army of followers on a rampage through space towards Karn, having promised them access to the Elixir. Morbius was defeated there, and Maren was present at his execution.

The Sisterhood withdrew to their temple after this, destroying any spacecraft which came close to Karn and paranoid that the Time Lords might take the Elixir for themselves.

The Doctor's TARDIS was redirected to Karn by his people when they learned that part of Morbius had survived - his living brain. Maren assumed he was there to steal the Elixir, which was running out as the Flame was dying. He was able to restore it, and Maren eventually accepted that Solon - a surgeon who lived on Karn - had somehow managed to save the Morbius' brain. He was building a monstrous new body for it.

After Morbius and Solon had been defeated, the Doctor was left close to death. Maren accepted the Doctor's argument that even the Sisterhood needed change and evolution, otherwise there was no progress. Knowing that her deputy, Ohica, would make a fine leader, Maren sacrificed herself by giving the Doctor the last of the Elixir.

Everyone saw her revert to her youthful form before vanishing.

Played by: Cynthia Grenville. Appearances: The Brain of Morbius (1976).

• The Sisterhood are unable to detect the mind of Morbius because Time Lords know how to shield themselves. But why can't they see into Solon's mind - or Condo's?

M is for... Marchwood Family

In 1665 Lord Marchwood employed an alchemist named Erasmus Darkling to produce gold from base metals. Darkling was invited to come and stay at Ashen Hill Manor, where he set up a laboratory in the cellars. Marchwood lived at the manor with his young children - Joseph and Elizabeth. 

It soon became apparent to the nobleman that Darkling could not do what he promised. It transpired that he was simply using Marchwood's hospitality for his own ends. He was an alien from an alternative universe, stranded on Earth. In his laboratory he had created a machine to get home, but this malfunctioned - causing everyone who lived in the house over the centuries to vanish into another dimension. They would later appear as ghostly visions - leading Professor Rivers and her assistant Toby to come and investigate the "haunted house" in 2009. She in turn invited Sarah Jane Smith along.

Lord Marchwood was able to warn Sarah about Darkling, and helped her to destroy him. With his machine broken up, the trapped people were released, able to die at last.

Just as she and Rivers were about to leave, Sarah spotted Lord Marchwood and his children watching her from a window - suggesting that they were real ghosts after all...

Played by: Callum Blue (Lord Marchwood), Rhys Gear (Joseph) and Amelia Clarkson (Elizabeth). Appearances: SJA 3.4 The Eternity Trap (2009).

Story 267: Smile

In which the inhabitants of a futuristic city employ badges which show their emotional state. Small robots - Emojibots - mirror these badges. When someone shows any kind of sadness, the Emojibots react negatively. Tiny creatures emerge from out of the structure of the buildings and swoop down on the unhappy individuals - and they are rapidly reduced to dust and bones...

The Doctor decides to take Bill to an alien planet in the far future, despite protests from Nardole that he is forbidden to leave present day Earth because of a commitment to the mysterious vault beneath the university. He claims to be simply moving the TARDIS from one part of his rooms to another - but tells Bill that there is all of time and space to visit between.

The TARDIS materialises in a field, close to the city. This is the planet Gliese 581d, and the gleaming white city was set up by an advance party of colonists from the planet Earth.

As they explore the settlement, however, the Doctor and Bill see no trace of any inhabitants - other than the small Emojibot robots. They issue them with the small yellow emotion badges. The robots also provide them with food - giving the Doctor two portions to Bill's one. He explains that they must be registering them by heartbeat.

Bill sees a flock of small flying creatures and the Doctor identifies them as Vardies - a form of microscopic robot. The whole city is made from Vardy, which can combine to build structure.

After their meal they continue to explore and come upon a huge greenhouse, tended by Emojibots. A fine white powder is being sprayed into the soil which they take to be bonemeal. Checking the source of this material, however, reveals the bone to be human in origin.

The Emojibots are busy working for the colony's benefit - including exploiting its dead inhabitants to make the soil more fertile.

They act as an interface with the Vardy, which must have killed the colonists. The Doctor realises that the city has become a death trap. When the main colonist group arrives, it will be in danger from the Vardy and the Emojibots.

He and Bill have to pretend to be happy, otherwise they are at risk from the Emojibots, who are clearly destroying anyone who is unhappy or showing other negative emotions. The Doctor wants Bill to stay in the TARDIS whilst he decides to destroy the city. She follows him.

They discover a stretch of damaged wall which proves to be the hull of a spacecraft - presumably the one that brought the ill-fated advance party of colonists. They enter the ship - provoking an angry response from the Emojibots. The Doctor heads for the engine room, intending to overload it to destroy the city. Exploring by herself, Bill comes upon a dead body lying as though in state. It is an elderly woman. A book nearby has images of the dying Earth which she had left.

The Doctor is attacked by an Emojibot, and is forced to destroy it. Bill encounters a boy, who asks if they have arrived at their destination.

She contacts the Doctor, having realised that the main colony ship is not on its way. It is already here.

The Doctor deduces that the death of the old woman provoked grief in her family and friends - which prompted the Emojibots and Vardy to attack them, having been programmed to ensure the happiness of the colonists. The dead were an advance party - but people who had been revived earlier than the main group, who are now beginning to wake up from suspended animation.

The Doctor worries what will happen when they learn that their friends have been killed. They will either be grief-stricken - and fall victim to the Vardies - or want to take revenge, and go to war with them.

The Doctor and Bill inform a newly revived medic named Steadfast of what has happened to the others. They try to make it clear that the Vardy have malfunctioned, and they and the Emojibots are simply fulfilling their programming to please the colonists. However, Steadfast and the others are determined to destroy the Vardy. A battle breaks out, in which the colonists destroy some Vardies and one of their number is killed. 

The Doctor realises that the Vardy have evolved and are now a life-form in their own right. He uses a damaged Emojibot to reset the entire system.

He then tells Steadfast that he and the other colonists will have to forge a new relationship with them. They will willingly help, but cannot be exploited.

The Doctor and Bill leave the colonists to their negotiations and return to Earth in the TARDIS.

However, instead of his rooms at the university, they emerge to find an icy landscape. An elephant emerges from out of the fog...

Smile was written by Frank Cottrell-Boyce, and was first broadcast on Saturday 22nd April, 2017. Cottrell-Boyce had previously written In The Forest of the Night for Series 8. Smile is a more conventional story. If anything, it is quite unoriginal, being yet another entry in the artificial-intelligence-gone-wrong genre - the second such episode in a row.

This is really becoming quite boring under Moffat.

Smile just about manages to rise above the rut thanks to the arrival of Bill as a companion, and the stunning futuristic setting. The latter was due to filming overseas - at the City of Arts and Sciences in Valencia, Spain.

Bill makes for a refreshing change to the clingy and annoying Clara. She asks all sort of odd questions - which are funny up to a point. She sometimes asks too many questions, and they can be nonsensical. Luckily they pull back on this aspect of her personality as the series progresses.

For his inspiration, Cottrell-Boyce has looked to the 1872 novel Erewhon, by Samuel Butler.

Erewhon - "nowhere" backwards - is the name of the colony spaceship. Inspired in turn by the writings of Charles Darwin, Butler's novel tells of the dangers of artificial intelligence, as machines begin to replicate themselves and pose a risk to the colonists of a new land. They think this new country to be a utopia, when in fact it turns out to be a dystopia. The book was perceived as a satire on Victorian society.

The main guest artist is Ralf Little (The Royle Family, Death in Paradise) who plays Steadfast. For the episode's big name, he doesn't actually appear until the last ten minutes.

In the pre-credit sequence is Mina Anwar, playing Goodthing. Anwar was a regular on The Sarah Jane Adventures as Rani's mother. Also confined to the pre-credits is Kiran Dadlani as Kezzia.

The boy - Praiseworthy - is Kaizer Akhtar.

The two main Emojibots are Kiran Shah and Craig Garner. Shah had previously featured in Listen as the "bedspread monster". He was one of the main body doubles for the Hobbits in all six of Peter Jackson's LOTR movies.

Overall, an updated version of The Happiness Patrol in many ways - in that sadness gets you killed. More AI running amok, and nods to earlier "space ark" stories. It shouldn't work, but it does - thanks to the setting and relationship between the Doctor and Bill.

Things you might like to know:

• Other than Rose Tyler, RTD tended to have his companions make their first proper TARDIS journey to the past (Martha to Elizabethan London and Donna to Pompeii). Moffat, on the other hand, has Amy, Clara and now Bill all go into the future.
• Peter Capaldi and Steven Moffat both claimed that they did not understand emoji messages.
• For all you arable farmers out there - the field is supposed to be of wheat, but is actually barley. The colonists talk about having the Vardy pollinate it - yet it is already fully grown and therefore ready for harvest.
• Steadfast is a MedTech - suggesting this might be the same society which sat out the solar flares on space station Nerva (The Ark in Space).
• The Doctor tells a story about a magic haddock, whose relevance to the situation is tenuous to say the least. The story is really just an alternative version of The Monkey's Paw - the best known "be careful what you wish for" tale.
• As in The Beast Below, another space ark story, the Doctor talks about how Scots opt for independence everywhere they go.
• Oddly, despite coming from the same colony ship, the first two people to die had a name composed of numerals, whereas everyone else has a 'proper' name.