What's Wrong With... The Horns of Nimon

For many, it's the worst story of the worst season. In a number of polls, it has been the lowest rated story of the Tom Baker era.

Something has to hold that dubious distinction - so why The Horns of Nimon..?

Arriving just before Christmas, and looking like a pantomime (sets, costumes and performances) certainly didn't help.

The usually reliable Graham Crowden (the Fourth Doctor in an alternate universe - he turned the part down due to the publicity side of things) hams things up really badly. 

He later claimed that he didn't realise that his death scene was the take that was going to be used, thinking it would get a retake.

Another problem which isn't the story's fault is its placement as the series conclusion. It ought to have been the cheap and disposable filler story - the one where whatever money's left in the kitty has been reserved for the six-part one.

That was indeed the case - except that Shada then got cancelled due to industrial action.

The story itself is perfectly fine. It's simply the myth of Theseus and the Minotaur in an outer space setting after all.

After Robert Holmes' obsession with horror movies, Anthony Read had looked to literature for his inspirations, and he'd already commissioned a version of Jason and the Argonauts (another cheap penultimate story).

The realisation of the VFX is mixed. The explosion of the Power Complex is good, but the model spaceships are once again video-taped in the studio instead of being filmed properly on the model stage.

The ships are so flatly lit that the Classical Studies joke about painting Seth's white at the end fails to work.

According to Read, the Complex was supposed to look more like a huge circuit board from above, and the walls were supposed to move like switches. This couldn't be realised in the available time in studio - so we simply have stagehands moving flats about off-screen.

The young Anethan hostages somehow mange to pull off doing nothing at all, and overacting badly, simultaneously.

Like the Krotons before them the Nimon have fantastic voices, but naff costumes. Dancers were hired - but couldn't do very much thanks to their stacked platform-soled boots. It was made in the 1970's after all  - if only just.

The Co-Pilot (another usually reliable actor who thinks he's doing pre-school children's television this week) has the most famous wardrobe malfunction in the history of the programme. Not only does he split his trousers at the bum in Part Two, but we get to see him do it all over again in Part Three because it happens at the cliff-hanger.

The first episode provides us with the dreadfully unfunny "Bloodnok's Stomach" sound effects in the TARDIS - except it isn't actually the iconic Goons sound effect at all, just similar.

The whole cricket ball / asteroid business is just silly.

It's really obvious that Tom Baker is being indulged throughout, and Graham Williams has given up on trying to rein him in. His resignation is already accepted, and he's coasting towards his departure.

The biggest tragedy of all is that this was the final story of Williams' tenure to be broadcast, and it's the last time we got to enjoy a distinctive Dudley Simpson incidental score.

The final outing for the 1967 arrangement of Delia Derbyshire's theme, and the 1975 "tunnel" opening sequence. The diamond logo will be back, but not until 2023.

What's Wrong With... Nightmare of Eden

This is one of those stories which, on paper, works very well. It's just the realisation that let's it down.

With Nightmare of Eden, however, the worst of its problems were the ones which we didn't see on screen.

This is the story which, notoriously, saw the director dismissed before completing the job.

Alan Bromly was the worst kind of hack director, at least by this stage of his career. Barry Letts had previously experienced his lack of imagination when he had declined advice from him, and help from the VFX Department in favour of using stock footage of a quarry blast at the conclusion of The Time Warrior.

He was basically coasting towards retirement in 1979 and was only given another Doctor Who to do as a favour to senior management, in the belief that he was a safe pair of hands.

This was just the sort of attitude which a technically complex programme simply didn't need at this time of high inflation, with an increasingly domineering star.

Bromly had an overly rigid way of working - unwilling to deviate from his planned shots and timetable. This led to an inevitable clash with the improvisational, experimental style favoured by Tom Baker.

Baker took to openly disagreeing with the director - likening him to a parrot when he kept repeating the same instructions over and over again.

By the last recording session, it was open warfare and Bromly was replaced in the gallery by producer Graham Williams.

Other unhappy personnel included the VFX team. Due to the tight budgets, Williams had decided to have the model shots recorded in studio using CSO instead of using the far superior model stage filming method.

Colin Mapson's detailed models of the Hecate and Empress simply weren't done justice.

According to the DVD documentary, special T-shirts were printed with the slogan "I Survived the Nightmare of Eden" when the serial wrapped.

The BBC tried to build up the Mandrels by claiming that they were so frightening that no photographs were allowed of them - patently untrue. Two of the guest artists also claimed in interviews that they were scary.

The costumes are fine in the darkened environment of the Eden jungle projection, but their limitations are all too apparent in the overly-lit studio. They have been given long arms, but these are too rigid.

Being the 1970's, they've also got flares.

Keep an eye on David Daker when the Mandrel bursts out of the hole, bridging the first and second episodes. He finds it hard to keep a straight face.

It's a bit too obvious that the actors are running up the same small section of stairwell - which moves out of position at one point when it's bumped.

The same problem arises with the passenger pallets. They've moved people about to make it look like lots of identical sections, but you recognise certain extras.

Plot-wise, why are the passengers wearing dark glasses and overalls when the crew aren't?

Are the passengers being kept in some sort of unshielded part of the ship?

The reason for the collision in the first place is due to Tryst deliberately spiking Secker's food or drink to cause the accident, so that the transference can take place. 

However, none of this has made it from the script to the screen, so we have no clue as to why the accident takes place.

Now that we do know, it actually makes little sense. How could Tryst and Dimond possibly know what would happen when the vessels collided? They could just as easily have been destroyed.

Why deliberately draw the attention of the customs officials by staging an accident, when all they needed to do was slip an innocuous looking crystal from one person to another, or use their enchuka laser option anyway.

You have to wonder how they first discovered that Mandrel ash was Vraxoin in the first place.

Captain Rigg discovers that the Doctor and Romana are imposters quite early on - but does nothing about this information. He continues to allow the Doctor to take charge over his own vessel.

At one point Romana is bitten by what the script terms a "somno-moth", which flies out of the projection. But you'd never know that to look at the scene. A small electronic effect flies at her and she collapses, but the audience don't have a clue what they've just seen.

Stott and the Doctor discover that things can move in and out of the projection early on, and is also the source of the Vraxoin (even if they don't yet know the precise source) - but don't put two and two together to work out that the person responsible for the projection might just possibly be the smuggler.

Why was Lewis Fiander allowed to use such a ridiculous cod-Germanic accent? Surely this should have been addressed at the rehearsal stage.

Perhaps Williams had simply given up the ghost by this stage, as he also allowed the whole "My arms, my legs, my everything!" nonsense from Baker.

Della gets shot in the throat, but clutches her stomach before falling.

Fisk calls Tryst "Fisk" at one point.

There is some quality model work on show - just a pity it's from Space:1999...

What's Wrong With... The Creature From The Pit

Maybe quicker to write about what was right about it...

For the sake of completism, let's start with Erato.

Mat Irvine carried the can for the poor realisation of the titular creature, but he - quite rightly - said that the blame really ought to lie with the script editor and producer for having approved the story as it stood in the first place.

This was a time of high inflation, and this story was supposed to be a lower budgeted all-studio serial - so why agree to a gigantic monster under these conditions?

The writer assumed that some sort of model would be used, and indeed there is a model of Erato - but it only features briefly.

We get a huge green balloon (literally - weatherman Michael Fish spotted its weather balloon origins). To make it more interesting, and because the script called for it, at least one appendage was required.

Unfortunately, this made the monster look like massive green male genitalia...

Often a bad VFX can be carried by the performances of the actors interacting with it - but here things aren't helped at all by Tom Baker. Season 17 was when he was at his most out of control, fighting directors and refusing to take things seriously. Graham Williams had given up the ghost with his star by this point, casting longing glances at the Exit, but Baker was being encouraged to go over the top by his co-star and the script editor - one Douglas Adams.

The scene everyone mentions is when Baker appears to fellate the creature (see above).

One of the VFX assistants claimed that they took their stanley-knife to the prop as soon as recording ended, but this can't be true as it featured in the Blackpool Exhibition.

On to the story. 

Just how did they get Erato out of the Pit in the fourth episode?

Why has Erato not realised that it's killing people when trying to communicate with them. It's a bit slow on the uptake.

The society on Chloris is obviously matriarchal, yet the Huntsman ends up in charge at the conclusion. Adrasta is killed and Karela locked up, but what happened to the younger woman? She just vanishes from the story.

Isn't giving the Huntsman the top job a bit like making the guy who walks the White House dogs the President of the USA? What exactly were his qualifications for being placed in charge?

If you are not a fan of under-graduate humour (like JNT, Barry Letts and Chris Bidmead) then the whole "Everest In Easy Stages" section simply isn't funny, and undermines the drama.

The Doctor simply walking through the supposedly unbreakable wall is embarrassing.

I'm no physicist, but I'm told that the whole wrapping of the neutron star in aluminium would never work. Neutron stars are a lot bigger than what we see here, so you couldn't weave a coating that quickly anyway.

(And why couldn't Erato have woven something useful that might have helped it escape from the Pit).

Why did the Tythonians not bother to check and see what happened to their ambassador. Launching a star at Chloris when it's imprisoned there is going to kill it as well as its captors.

The other thing everyone talks about is the unpleasant anti-Semitism of the stereotyped bandits, though this needs to be considered in the context of the period in which the story was made. Various versions of Oliver Twist were available, and productions of The Merchant of Venice being staged, at the time.

What's Wrong With... City of Death

 

Not a lot, if numerous polls are anything to go by. Its reputation partly lies on the massive viewing figures it enjoyed - but people forget that ITV were on strike for many weeks, and there were only three channels in 1979. I read a comment on FB last month knocking Ncuti's debut for failing to match the figures achieved by this story. The concept of 'Context' is totally lost on some people...

The series has always had a problematic relationship with Paradox. It is usually simply ignored, and only occasionally used as a plot point. Letts and Dicks came up with the Blinovitch Limitation Effect to help get round certain aspects of it. The Master had to convert the TARDIS to maintain one in the Series 3 finale. The Twelfth was happy to talk directly to the audience about one.

We have one here in City of Death, and it's a big one. 

If Scaroth prevents the human race from ever evolving, then how could he manipulate them to arrive at the point where he can go back in time to do the thing which will prevent their evolution...?

The prehistoric scenes see absolutely fantastic model work - but a really horrible fake-looking studio set.

The sky on the model shots is streaked with cloud and atmospheric, whilst in studio it's plain yellow.

Are those supposed to be distant mountains? If so, the perspective doesn't work. There's no sense of space at all.

Apparently there wouldn't have been any land surface to walk on at that time - and you would not be able to breath. Adams picked this up later and when he adapted bits of City for one of his novels he had the characters wear protective gear.

That old chestnut: how does Scaroth manage to fit into that mask when his head is much bigger? (This was in the days before tissue compressors and farting side-effects, though it's not as bad as the Foamasi).

Why did he wear a mask in the first place (when he isn't wearing one in ancient Egypt)?

Why take his mask off at the end of Part One? (Is it that old foreknowledge of a cliff-hanger coming up?). Why do it just when he knows his wife is looking for him?

And where did he get all the masks anyway - especially in ancient times?

He must have squandered a great deal of money swanning about like a rich playboy, because after thousands of years he ought to have amassed far more money than even 7 Mona Lisa's are worth.

Even in 1979, the sums being talked about aren't vast.

Why isn't he a king or a President?

Why employ a scientist, when he must have technical skills of his own far in advance of someone like Kerensky? If he does want to run the risk of involving a human scientist, why not a whole team of them?

It's never fully explained how the splinter thing works. Presumably they all came into being at different points in history simultaneously. If so, how exactly do they know what their future self will need / want, if they're experiencing their particular time zone for the first time?

Did any splinter have to hang around millions of years waiting for the human race to evolve, or did they somehow all manage to conveniently land up within the relatively narrow confines of human history?

Shouldn't the Count have checked the cellar to make sure his paintings are alright? They could have been eaten by mice or something, and bang goes his millennia-old scheme, to save his entire race from extinction.

(And even if he had been successful, what difference would it have made to the Jagaroth? How important was this one spaceship?  Wouldn't they have just blown themselves up anyway, if that's what they're like as a species?).

Hard to say if they're supposed to be intentionally funny, or its just badly directed, but why does no-one bat an eye-lid in the café when men start brandishing guns?

Why do the henchmen wear stupid big black hats, when they're clearly not fashionable (we see enough of the Parisian men in the location filming). Why don't they just wear T-shirts with "I am a Henchman" and make life simpler for themselves.

Duggan is written / played far too broadly. Seriously, would multi-millionaire art collectors ever think of employing someone like him to investigate for them? He clearly doesn't know the meaning of "discretion". 

And finally, the less said about the love life of the Count and Countess, the better...

What's Wrong With... Destiny of the Daleks

It should have been an epic. The sequel to Genesis of the Daleks... The return of Davros... The first Dalek story for half a decade...

So what went wrong?

Quite a few things, of course.

Davros:

David Gooderson is a fine actor, but he simply cannot vocalise like Michael Wisher. This Davros just isn't subtly malevolent enough. The original Davros believed wholeheartedly that what what he was doing was right - even in his hypothetical discussion with the Doctor about the virus. Arrogant and sociopathic, but honest and consistent in his world view.

The Gooderson Davros is more of a ranting megalomaniac - a more conventional villain.

He isn't helped by the deterioration of the mask - rotting away at one of the permanent Exhibitions. he also seems to have lacked the rehearsal time Wisher had with the wheelchair. He glided, whilst we can hardly keep a straight face when we see this Kaled scientist pedalling furiously along a corridor, rocking from side to side.

Daleks:

The story was made during a period of rocketing inflation, and there simply wasn't enough money to renovate the Dalek props. Bits are broken off, whilst others are stuck on with Sellotape*.

The paint scheme varies from prop to prop, with some grey and others more blue. There's a mismatch of tops and bottoms. When one blows up, the pieces of the skirt fall to the floor and clatter like they are made of wood. They are, of course, but they're not supposed to be.

The vacuum-formed plastic ones are visibly crudely made. On location, they can be seen to be lifted off the ground and carried, wobbling as they move. One of them has its top half misaligned with the base.

When the group blow up at the end, you can see the dowling rod supports left standing.

Movellans:

Horrible disco-outfits. Just because it's the late 1970's, it ought not to look like it. 

How could they possibly match the Daleks when all you have to do to incapacitate them is remove an easily detached device from their belts?

Their arms drop off rather too easily as well.

It looks like they can be reprogrammed with a conventional screwdriver set.

Why would coldly logical robots care if the Doctor knew that they were artificial? Why go to all the bother of deception, when one of them is going to turn up, after being thought dead, a short time later anyway?

Isn't it a bit risky testing a planet-destroying weapon when you're standing on that planet? What if something had gone wrong?

How did they know that the Doctor was going to walk past that area where Romana was held in the Nova Device cylinder, just as the countdown would melodramatically reach 000? Did they know a cliffhanger was due?

A Sequel?

Nation doesn't appear to have rewatched his previous Dalek story, or read through the script.

He suddenly thinks that the Daleks are purely robotic now - only having had an organic occupant in the past. 

At no point in the past have they ever been creatures of pure logic. They're always emotional - manically so.

The geography of the city doesn't match Genesis at all. 

Davros was "killed" in his bunker - not in the city anyway.

Has he been wheeled into a side room at some point in the interim? Why leave his corpse hanging around in the first place? What made the Daleks think he was still alive to resurrect?

Another issue of the city layout: the Daleks are mining for ages, yet Davros appears (on screen at least) to be on a level with a window onto the surface. They've got detailed maps of each level of their own city, which they ought to know inside out, yet have forgotten about the shortcut to the level they're after - one which the Doctor remembers, even though we never saw any evidence of it in Genesis.

Other stuff:

Where's the Dalek spaceship whilst all this is going on? We're led to believe there's a ship in orbit, but no reinforcements show up.

It's a bit odd that the Doctor and Romana recognise the galaxy of origin of the Movellan spaceship - but don't know anything about the Movellans themselves.

It's one thing to be relieved that you've just been saved from extermination, but having a laugh whilst you pick up the corpses of your comrades is going a wee bit too far.

Extermination is supposed to be excruciating, yet we see some people just gently lower themselves to the ground.

And the biggest question of all: why does the Movellan spaceship have upholstered seats...?

*Other adhesive tapes are available.

Season 17 Blu-ray Boxset Confirmed

 

A couple of weeks ago I reported that a YouTube vlogger was claiming that Season 17 would be the next Blu-ray box set, to be released on 13th December.

Well, today this was confirmed, including that release date.

As expected, the set does include Shada, but to make things different it has the 2017 animated version split into episodic form (It was feature length only up till now).

Nightmare of Eden has new CGI effects, which is what I had said I would like.

Otherwise we get cleaned up versions of Destiny of the Daleks, City of Death, Creature from the Pit, and The Horns of Nimon.

I expected the Matthew Sweet interview to be with Lalla Ward, but instead it is with Bob Baker. Ward is interviewed elsewhere on the set. There is also another Tom Baker interview, plus an archive convention appearance.

Destiny gets a new making-of documentary (there was only an interview with the director on the DVD).

Creature gets an extended Part Three, if you can bear to watch more of it.

There is also a new appreciation of Douglas Adams. 

Behind the Sofa has a real mixed bag of participants - Colin Baker, Nicola Bryant, Katy Manning, Matthew Waterhouse, June Hudson, Graeme Harper and Mat Irvine. So no Tom or Lalla.

The video advert for the set features a little prequel to Destiny ("Risen", by Pete McTighe), starring David Gooderson as Davros (sounding far better than he did at the time).

I've already pre-ordered - suggest you do the same.